Slow down and live- as I once wrote, many times sought, and promised to try to do each time I get caught in the whirls of life.

But slowing down means everything lasts much longer, as might enduring pain and sleepless hours.

I'd like to think of all pleasant things. So much waiting, but thankful all the same, for it isn't like you're in prison where waiting never gets done.
But here and now's the time you get to think of a LOT. Praise a LOT. Reminisce a LOT. I literally stared at ceilings A LOT too.

I miss my second- graders back in the school where I teach. I wish I could see them now and their constant candid remarks and quarrels, their hugs, their charming and bright dispositions. My jungle of a table too, in the room I share with Olive, my co-coordinator, my mentor, my partner in impossible diet dreams. The tons of paper work I left behind since I had been absent for a month now; my requirements too in my graduate class, and the big INC mark to welcome me for not being able to finish this semester’s subjects.


What if's start pounding their way... Stress starts to sink in- the battle I thought for a second I was winning over.
Stress- when everything's a matter of life and death. It left me nonplussed. Sometimes there's no WHY- that's the scary, painful part.


The morphine leaves me in a stumbling kind of half life. I’m thankful that the TV turns me away toward nothing but its own glassy self and superficial drama.



I forget for a moment my own...




But I also forgot the most important and sacred one- having joy and confidence in Him. For in Him my healing lies, my heartaches and worries melt, my life is planned, even before I start feeling foolish and anxious about suffering...