A grand ball of items
Prices marked down
Striking, tempting, blinding
As for this soul- Chaos In love
Gleaning on superficial eyes
Blundering feelings
Excruciating to the depths
Love's price marked down
with a non-negotiable tag: Never will be
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Garage Sale
Defenseless
Life's of black and white,
green and cream, brown and flesh;
on checkers, and squares, and boxes;
on wood, glass, plastic
- that familiar strategic game of complex moves and decisions;
of risking, sacrificing, consuming.
And there's no turning back- only forward and side-ward.
You make your moves. I do too- though at times I retreat.
Too scared to risk, to fall.
Piece by piece you take away,
then you capture my queen, my heart
as I take your bait.
My walls broken- you leave me defenseless, resigned.
And all that's left, my king, cornered with nothing to govern.
Not even the heart
that, at last, lost to you..
green and cream, brown and flesh;
on checkers, and squares, and boxes;
on wood, glass, plastic
- that familiar strategic game of complex moves and decisions;
of risking, sacrificing, consuming.
And there's no turning back- only forward and side-ward.
You make your moves. I do too- though at times I retreat.
Too scared to risk, to fall.
Piece by piece you take away,
then you capture my queen, my heart
as I take your bait.
My walls broken- you leave me defenseless, resigned.
And all that's left, my king, cornered with nothing to govern.
Not even the heart
that, at last, lost to you..
A Tribute
Dream.
Imagine.
The very words that our teacher taught us two decades ago.
It was our world then- growing bigger and bigger as the years passed.
Remembering quite vividly, we conquered our mountains- in the pyramid of colored, old rubber tires in the grounds of PCMC, traveled to places- arranging the chairs one after another, and chanting the familiar “Chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo!”, swam to endless borders in the wee pool and caught frogs – all together constantly worrying Ate Lolit, our teacher aide then.
We painted our worlds with colors, flew and reached heights with the teacher’s encouragements. We keep our best memories of strutting proudly, I in my rockstar suit and gold wig, my sister in her tiger costume. We wandered around the halls of the Children’s hospital, smiling and enchanting the doctors and nurses for them to give us a bag of treats.
Much was to be dreamt at 4 years old. Being still in the soft mats, only just for nap time, we went and continued to dream each time we awoke. I in Nursery, and my sister in vertical class, in 1990.
That’s precisely what we did back then, until the day that we followed Career’s path, and found ourselves in the footsteps of our teachers.
It’s payback time, I guess. We hold in our heart the legacy left to us- to teach with love and to bring it wherever we go.
And now that we’re teachers, that’s what we hold dear and treasured, and what we teach our kids.
Thanks to the pillars and formators of PCMC.
Imagine.
The very words that our teacher taught us two decades ago.
It was our world then- growing bigger and bigger as the years passed.
Remembering quite vividly, we conquered our mountains- in the pyramid of colored, old rubber tires in the grounds of PCMC, traveled to places- arranging the chairs one after another, and chanting the familiar “Chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo!”, swam to endless borders in the wee pool and caught frogs – all together constantly worrying Ate Lolit, our teacher aide then.
We painted our worlds with colors, flew and reached heights with the teacher’s encouragements. We keep our best memories of strutting proudly, I in my rockstar suit and gold wig, my sister in her tiger costume. We wandered around the halls of the Children’s hospital, smiling and enchanting the doctors and nurses for them to give us a bag of treats.
Much was to be dreamt at 4 years old. Being still in the soft mats, only just for nap time, we went and continued to dream each time we awoke. I in Nursery, and my sister in vertical class, in 1990.
That’s precisely what we did back then, until the day that we followed Career’s path, and found ourselves in the footsteps of our teachers.
It’s payback time, I guess. We hold in our heart the legacy left to us- to teach with love and to bring it wherever we go.
And now that we’re teachers, that’s what we hold dear and treasured, and what we teach our kids.
Thanks to the pillars and formators of PCMC.
Feast on Poison and Everything Yummy!
Been reading a very contentious book by a very handsome author, K.T., Natural Cures THEY Don’t Want You to Know About. It’s spilling the beans on certain agencies in the US- where most of our food and drugs are coming from- and the monopoly and corruption AND globalization of food and poison, etc., etc., etc.
Feel passionate than ever to write about it. (Especially dedicated to my beloved psychologist and friends who are dependent on ‘drugs’ and addictive food and all sorts of food whose shelf life are past our life expectancy)
Just to share with you some lines..:
“The four basic food groups and the food pyramid have nothing to do with health and nutrition, but are designed to brainwash people into eating a certain way for the benefit of the food industry…”
“Ready- to- eat salad linked with birth defects and other cancer hazards…washed with chlorine.. combines with chemicals naturally present in lettuce to create more hazardous stuff”
“Los Angeles Times reports that deformed frogs are showing up at alarmingly increasing levels” (Guess why?? *snickers*)
While on Drugs…
“Schools get a $500 incentive for every child they have on a psychiatric drug, like Ritalin or Prozac.. doctors too, for prescribing.. professors too, for expressing a certain view”
“Since the invention of sunscreen, skin cancer rates have gone up…”
“State- of- the- art chemotherapy etc. have killed, left young children injured for life, those that were prescribed by MDs… caused seizures, dementia, death, and cancer itself”
And some more random musings…:
The big M with a silly grin has agreed to pay millions of dollars ‘to settle a lawsuit because they were putting trans fats in its cooking oil’. I have this sinking feeling that maybe… maybe absolutely.. other fast food chains do this. They put some sort of addictive stuff and fattening chemicals into their food. So we keep coming back… So ‘once you pop, you can’t stop’, and a lot more jingles to be sung =)
The big K that makes our cheese and yummy cookies, etc. was sued for ‘knowingly putting dangerous trans fats in its food, most notably- Oreos’.
Beef being used for hamburger patties in most fast food restos are composed of ‘pooling bacteria from as many as a thousand different animals’.
Read labels, Dear friends and fellow food-lovers… The state in that big powerful country apparently has been amending and approving statements that ‘passes MSG as a SPICE’, passes any chemical stuff and other poison as NATURAL/ ALL-NATURAL FLAVORS”, and all other facts that can send and haunt us to our coffins- including those hard-to-pronounce words that are part of the ingredients.
I’m sure I still have a lot more from where these came from… In the meantime, I’ll finish reading (with read-aloud’s of excerpts to my family) the book. Anyone who wants to borrow, let me know=)
Feel passionate than ever to write about it. (Especially dedicated to my beloved psychologist and friends who are dependent on ‘drugs’ and addictive food and all sorts of food whose shelf life are past our life expectancy)
Just to share with you some lines..:
“The four basic food groups and the food pyramid have nothing to do with health and nutrition, but are designed to brainwash people into eating a certain way for the benefit of the food industry…”
“Ready- to- eat salad linked with birth defects and other cancer hazards…washed with chlorine.. combines with chemicals naturally present in lettuce to create more hazardous stuff”
“Los Angeles Times reports that deformed frogs are showing up at alarmingly increasing levels” (Guess why?? *snickers*)
While on Drugs…
“Schools get a $500 incentive for every child they have on a psychiatric drug, like Ritalin or Prozac.. doctors too, for prescribing.. professors too, for expressing a certain view”
“Since the invention of sunscreen, skin cancer rates have gone up…”
“State- of- the- art chemotherapy etc. have killed, left young children injured for life, those that were prescribed by MDs… caused seizures, dementia, death, and cancer itself”
And some more random musings…:
The big M with a silly grin has agreed to pay millions of dollars ‘to settle a lawsuit because they were putting trans fats in its cooking oil’. I have this sinking feeling that maybe… maybe absolutely.. other fast food chains do this. They put some sort of addictive stuff and fattening chemicals into their food. So we keep coming back… So ‘once you pop, you can’t stop’, and a lot more jingles to be sung =)
The big K that makes our cheese and yummy cookies, etc. was sued for ‘knowingly putting dangerous trans fats in its food, most notably- Oreos’.
Beef being used for hamburger patties in most fast food restos are composed of ‘pooling bacteria from as many as a thousand different animals’.
Read labels, Dear friends and fellow food-lovers… The state in that big powerful country apparently has been amending and approving statements that ‘passes MSG as a SPICE’, passes any chemical stuff and other poison as NATURAL/ ALL-NATURAL FLAVORS”, and all other facts that can send and haunt us to our coffins- including those hard-to-pronounce words that are part of the ingredients.
I’m sure I still have a lot more from where these came from… In the meantime, I’ll finish reading (with read-aloud’s of excerpts to my family) the book. Anyone who wants to borrow, let me know=)
Reminiscing Journ Days
I sit here after a tiring day, gazing at art supposedly (just because he’s above our heads and up the stage). I listen to that ranting, raisin – eating man, wistful to learn insights on journalism from the seemingly witless monologues.
Waiting is one of life’s difficulties that everyone, as in EVERYONE, has to go through so many times. And this particular kind of waiting is less enjoyable than the one associated with ‘looking forward to-‘. This one’s a clueless kind of waiting. Clueless as to how long we’d have to endure it, and if golden time is commensurate to blind insights.
I pity the wrinkled grapes at his mercy- disappearing under his blob of a moustache every 7 seconds or so.
“It’s better to be passive; keep your writing simple. Unless you’re ambitious enough to be bold and adventurous! Dashing and bold aren’t for you, young people. Keep it light, keep it light.”
Sigh. Bold and daring are us, young people. I am now a vessel of assorted emotions- from the wait, and from the hollow runt.
Be still, my raging hormones. I’d like to believe he means well. But a cute speck of raisin probably has good intentions too, and would do a better job of enlightening us.
=) Endless Sighs..
Waiting is one of life’s difficulties that everyone, as in EVERYONE, has to go through so many times. And this particular kind of waiting is less enjoyable than the one associated with ‘looking forward to-‘. This one’s a clueless kind of waiting. Clueless as to how long we’d have to endure it, and if golden time is commensurate to blind insights.
I pity the wrinkled grapes at his mercy- disappearing under his blob of a moustache every 7 seconds or so.
“It’s better to be passive; keep your writing simple. Unless you’re ambitious enough to be bold and adventurous! Dashing and bold aren’t for you, young people. Keep it light, keep it light.”
Sigh. Bold and daring are us, young people. I am now a vessel of assorted emotions- from the wait, and from the hollow runt.
Be still, my raging hormones. I’d like to believe he means well. But a cute speck of raisin probably has good intentions too, and would do a better job of enlightening us.
=) Endless Sighs..
I've always loved treasure boxes. And this one I have here, an old Victoria's Secret, a bit moldy on the corners, with flaked off silver lining, is the most dear to me. Inside there's a coffee-stained paper, among other priceless stuff, with the words, "You... the gem in my eyes ... my life".
Great words from a poet, a man whose hands carried me a few hours after I was born...
His love for my mom is strong. But the one for me overpowers it, I think.
Reminds me of the times I see him take care of Mum; times he'd cook for us; times he'd drive for us. And my childhood's fondest memories- attacking him on his weakest points, starting my famous line, "Papa, look, I want that-!". Oh but he refuses to call us spoiled. Funny- the wonders of oxymoron.
The treasures of Queen Cleopatra are nothing in the face of these. I am melted by this evidence of love- in its most classic and unyielding state.
I've always loved notes and letters.
Love- not something you can contain in a lingerie box as this.
Complicated. Pure. Exquisite. Beautiful. Especially the love of parents.
So this remains. Once in a while I open this. And for 10 years my lingerie box has been my refuge.
Especially when love gets difficult, and when there are no more strong arms to cuddle me, nor hands to wipe my tears.
Great words from a poet, a man whose hands carried me a few hours after I was born...
His love for my mom is strong. But the one for me overpowers it, I think.
Reminds me of the times I see him take care of Mum; times he'd cook for us; times he'd drive for us. And my childhood's fondest memories- attacking him on his weakest points, starting my famous line, "Papa, look, I want that-!". Oh but he refuses to call us spoiled. Funny- the wonders of oxymoron.
The treasures of Queen Cleopatra are nothing in the face of these. I am melted by this evidence of love- in its most classic and unyielding state.
I've always loved notes and letters.
Love- not something you can contain in a lingerie box as this.
Complicated. Pure. Exquisite. Beautiful. Especially the love of parents.
So this remains. Once in a while I open this. And for 10 years my lingerie box has been my refuge.
Especially when love gets difficult, and when there are no more strong arms to cuddle me, nor hands to wipe my tears.
Differences. Acceptance. Healing.
“Women have a superhighway going on their minds- while men have this crooked country road. And you’re lucky if a word gets over.” -Michael Meade
‘Most men want to get to the point, the product or solution, and every issue or matter has to have one, otherwise it’s not worth talking about.’
I have learned that, like many ladies, I think and speak and feel using up the most complex systems in our body. And to men- it's 'going on and on and around in circles; just get to the point'. That’s time immemorial when ‘women stood in their caves, stirring the soup with one hand, bouncing the baby on the other hip, singing a lullaby, and kicking the woolly mammoth out the door with the other foot.’
It’s just right that we come to appreciate the fullness of our intelligence as it comes to us from within our body- especially in the most trying of times!
Our culture has skewed the nurturing metaphor in order that we’d give ourselves away without nurturing our very own. We give and give … and give some more, until the well dries up. Funny, as Dr. Northrup said, if men and women generally went around without shirts, people would see that the major wound for women is where breastfeeding is- the symbol for nurture; while men, down the center of their chests- because many men need to learn how to open their hearts!
I definitely don’t want it to take me years before really rotting in the dry well of my life before I feel complete trust in my heart, and learn to stop before giving more than I can bear.
What purpose this illness of mine serves, I am not sure exactly, but felt that it was well incompatible of my chosen life’s work months ago- something that hindered my whole healing.
It isn’t ok that I’m missing so much of myself. This is literally: Breaking down to breakthrough. My healing, I realized, needs a paradigm shift.
As Adrienne Rich says, women need to know that they are capable of intelligent thoughts (and I say everything beautiful and divine). And we need to know that blessed fact RIGHT NOW!
From Goethe- Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it. Begin it now!
Looking with a heart that needs cleansing and taking a whole paradigm shift, I’m on it now- almost there!
‘Most men want to get to the point, the product or solution, and every issue or matter has to have one, otherwise it’s not worth talking about.’
I have learned that, like many ladies, I think and speak and feel using up the most complex systems in our body. And to men- it's 'going on and on and around in circles; just get to the point'. That’s time immemorial when ‘women stood in their caves, stirring the soup with one hand, bouncing the baby on the other hip, singing a lullaby, and kicking the woolly mammoth out the door with the other foot.’
It’s just right that we come to appreciate the fullness of our intelligence as it comes to us from within our body- especially in the most trying of times!
Our culture has skewed the nurturing metaphor in order that we’d give ourselves away without nurturing our very own. We give and give … and give some more, until the well dries up. Funny, as Dr. Northrup said, if men and women generally went around without shirts, people would see that the major wound for women is where breastfeeding is- the symbol for nurture; while men, down the center of their chests- because many men need to learn how to open their hearts!
I definitely don’t want it to take me years before really rotting in the dry well of my life before I feel complete trust in my heart, and learn to stop before giving more than I can bear.
What purpose this illness of mine serves, I am not sure exactly, but felt that it was well incompatible of my chosen life’s work months ago- something that hindered my whole healing.
It isn’t ok that I’m missing so much of myself. This is literally: Breaking down to breakthrough. My healing, I realized, needs a paradigm shift.
As Adrienne Rich says, women need to know that they are capable of intelligent thoughts (and I say everything beautiful and divine). And we need to know that blessed fact RIGHT NOW!
From Goethe- Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it. Begin it now!
Looking with a heart that needs cleansing and taking a whole paradigm shift, I’m on it now- almost there!
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